After a tough year I ask “How can I purposely have fun?”

After a tough year I ask “How can I purposely have fun?”

Are you too serious?  I look at myself and I want self-transformation. I have spoken about this desire to those that I am close to, about wanting to change and then I am told to dive and dig into the 12 steps, to re-work them.  As a spiritual seeker for 50 years I have used many different modalities of working with self. Another way through the process of self –examination may be with the study of the psychology of self, either the cognitive or the conative which is a part of the mental life, which has to do with striving, including desire and volition. Working with a therapist is one way; in 2013 I took a year journey working the 12 steps with a therapist weekly.  Then there is the affective representation of one’s identity or the subject of experience, which is also known as seeking the authentic self.  The seeking of the “Authentic” self was big in my world around the early 70’s and I went to many 3 day and weeklong retreats, seminars, conferences, workshops, hermitages, meditation retreats and lots of alone time for the last 40 years. I found that all my books that I was reading were on spiritual subjects, none for fun and I changed that many years ago. I then started taking vacations that were for pure pleasure and not the spiritually attuned workshops or finding your bliss workshops and that change created joy in my life. I think that along with the spiritual seeking consciousness and political ranting and the survival energies of many that this energy that which we are creating has created non-joy among many, including myself.

I love that I have been involved in this conscious self transformation for 40 or so years, the self that seeks self-awareness, self-esteem, self-knowledge and self-perception. These have brought about change and modified the negative aspects of myself and hopefully enhance the positive side of me and allowed the shadow part to be at peace. However, I have lost a certain part of myself in all of this meditation seriousness. My sense of humor where I laughed easily and heartily appears to have diminished in all this clarity of perception of my personality, my strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivations and emotions. I can help others in my Tarot practice and after 29 years of being of service to one organization that literally saves lives, this self-examination is important.  However laughter has been fleeting in these last 4 years for me. The spontaneous joy of not one laugh but hours of belly laughing or the smiling happiness of joy all day long has been sadly missing in my own life on a daily basis. Yes, I have had supreme moments of laughter, fun and happiness this year, for instance at my Nieces wedding. However I think I have forgotten to be silly to really just let go…yes…downright crazy silly.  I use to dress up in costume and I was not going to a costume party, I was just stepping out at night in costume for dinner, just for fun.  The other day, a friend visited.  I was sitting on the couch cracking up, tears rolling down my eyes and I wondered where did all my outrageous silliness go? I thought well one of the most persistent criticisms of religious and spiritual people is that they take themselves too seriously. Yes, life can be very serious, very sad, and full of grief. The world has been full of grief this year with the earthquake of Kathmandu, the Chilean volcano, the Baltimore riot, floods around the world, typhoons, disasters, political upheaval in the USA and well just life as we know it globally.

You might have had a tough year, illness perhaps, no job, relationship break up, financial disaster, depression et al.   So…I ask you…when did you laugh till tears ran down your face? Have you dressed up in costume like a child recently and gone out shopping or to have a drink? Do you blow bubbles? Have you danced erotically in a dance club by yourself? Do we need to be reminded to be playful, then perhaps we all should go see a clown, they reflect our foibles and follies back to us. If there is no clown or circus in town, then you can create the silly fun.  Purposely try to have fun. I once read that Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God. One way to ask how to create or bring back laughter in my life is to ask the Tarot cards.

How can I purposely have fun?

  • Three card Spread:

First card Position is the essences of the question and how to proceed. The card is the 6 of Wands. Celebrate. Act as if you already victorious and do it in public. Walk proud, hold your head up high. Be aware of your body positions, shoulder back, head held high, superhero poses.  This will harness your strengths and give you a high level of confidence. Have faith.


Second Position what you need to do to activate laughter and joy. The Queen of Swords. She is the idea Goddess, the mind.  She can be a friend of yours or yourself. (I thought of my sister when reading this, she is an Aquarian, an air sign and swords represent the element of air). I also thought of getting my mind out the way, too much thinking, too much trying to come up with a solution to what is going on in my life right now. Emotions are certainly the gateway to opening up joy and laughter, what better way for me to do that but to invite my sister out for lunch.  She is funny and the two of us can really laugh.  So I did. Stop thinking and feel.


Third position the outcome of what will transpire if I take the action of the middle card. The Ace of Swords.  A new beginning, not afraid to take a leap and with laughter I might be able to relax and let go of an old belief system which has not worked for me for some time or it may be trying a different tactic toward my goals.


There are millions of combinations, the cards could of said, take a trip, go to a movie a event, exercise, be a fool or go see a clown, go out with your family, take a boat trip, go fishing, play music, gather three best friends together, make love, plant a garden, dance erotically or take up belly dancing, take a horse ride, adopt a animal, etc. etc.

What happened? I invited my sister out to the country, some 40 minutes from where she lives. I made soup and sandwiches, a new soup recipe.  We ate with my roommate and he then left us to talk. We talked, oh so serious and then she suggested we play cards. I had been longing to play cards and had not thought of it, to play with her. We played for hours and laughed till we fell off the chair and we laughed till we cried and we laughed till we could hardly catch our breath. We were laughing at ourselves.  My roommate heard this joy and laughter and said it helped him to hear it. We invited him to play cards, he does not like cards and declined, but he said the joy and laughter wow for him that was so refreshing to hear.  Just taking the afternoon off, from noon to 4pm was all it took to change me around to a new approach to my problem. Later I thought that I am going about finding my solution in all the wrong places and I refocused my mind toward other goals. I have been a lot happier since then and I laugh more and wake up with more joy in my heart. I can count on The Tarot cards, they always show the way.  I leave you with this.

“Laughter,” theologian Karl Barth reminded us, “is the closest thing to the grace of God.” Keep that in mind the next time you chuckle, hear a blooper, take a pratfall, or plan a party. The first and last word belong to God and therefore not to death but life, not to sorrow but joy, not to weeping but laughter. For surely it is God who has the last laugh.”

I now offer Tarot readings 7 days a week. Please email me at to see up a reading and please read the tab, “Book a Reading”. Blessings,  Jean


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